Be Gentle To Yourself | The TTU Yogi

LOVING YOURSELF: For The Anxiety and Depression Struggles

Isn’t it funny how as soon as you have a great life lesson to talk about and you’ve been living better because of it, the Devil comes around to bring you down? Let’s just say I’m completely exhausted, intending this to be both a blog and a vlog, and now I am just as sleepy as I can be. Yet, have no fear, I am going to try to put this together because it is so important and I sent this to my friend the other day, (I made it sound better grammatically for my blog, haha) and he said it was very helpful. And even though I’d love for all of you to benefit from reading this, I also want to benefit myself by re-reading my own words and encouraging myself to keep moving forward.

Let’s get started…

People, myself included, living with anxiety and depression were made with the default weakness of low self worth. (I’d bet anything that anyone reading this who is “like me” automatically just agreed with me.) I honestly think, no matter what people or counselors or doctors with medication say, we are not going to get any happier unless we focus on correcting this distorted point of view we were born with as the key to unlocking our joy.

You see we may be medically mentally disordered, we may be plagued with mood swings and negative minds, and we may be constantly hurt by the idea of not being accepted but we were born with the biggest, purest love anyone could have. If you’re born with anxiety/depression you were born with a big heart. And the reason we’re such huge lovers is because we are so hateful and horrible to ourselves that we give ALL our love away to the wrong people. We straight up look ourselves in the mirror, say no, and give what love we ourselves deserve FROM OURSELVES to others.

Because God intended us to be His and He made us in His image and He wants us to love ourselves, the people around us, and love Him. He wouldn’t of coined the famous phrase of “love your neighbor AS YOURSELF” if we were not supposed to be gentle to and care for ourselves. People are supposed to be apart of their own priorities and no one understands that at first, ESPECIALLY those with anxiety/depression. Where “normal” minds say “I want this so I get this,” we say “I want this but I’m not sure I deserve it” and give it to someone else.

Therefore what’s the deal with anxiety and depression. Why can’t people like us find happiness? Because we are so stubborn, dead set decided, and have blinders up with our narrowed understanding that love is give-all leave-none. And that type of thinking is COMPLETELY wrong. In fact, the right answer is give-all but give to yourself as well.

If you don’t love yourself you will never be happy.

And I KNOW it’s hard.

I know what it’s like to draw blood with my nails clutching my fat on my stomach, or to look in the mirror and scream hateful thoughts inwardly to myself, and always blaming myself or taking the blame or thinking it’s because of me that stuff doesn’t work out or that it’s fine someone treated/treats me badly because I brain wash myself to be strong enough to take whatever that person throws at me thinking it is love.

I KNOW.

But we are born thinking about it wrong!

Perks of Being Wallflower, (WATCH OR READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T), has an opening song that says, “You can’t love anyone until you can love yourself.” The movie and book also say by the mouth of Charlie’s teacher, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” So when we go around assuming all bad things are deserved by us and don’t love ourselves we’re ALLOWING Satan to brain wash us with our own minds into putting ourselves into hurtful situations…

So we’re born thinking wrong, yes. But we can overcome it?

I have learned the best way to defeat Satan is to focus on loving yourself. God says the most important commandment is to LOVE. Do you realize what that includes? Righteous love for yourself. If He wants us to love all of humanity, don’t you think that includes you? Because if we can’t see ourselves as the perfectly intended creation that we are how will anyone else ever see it? If we aren’t surrounding ourselves with good people because we deserve that, if we aren’t holding our head high, and if we aren’t saying “I deserve better than this because God made me a prince/princess of Heaven.” If we don’t have that mind set then Satan walks in clicks the part of our brain we were made weak and then we throw in the towel.

I’m not saying you will not still have low moments, because trust me I do, but there is something about living this way and knowing you’re better than what Satan has hypnotized you to believe that just takes that heavy burden off your back. The one that’s crushing you every day but at the same time you keep going as if you’re addicted to being crushed. You keep taking it and you keep adding to it and you keep getting broken and pressed into the ground and the reality of it all is if we’d stop to say “Too bad for you crushing hate, I deserve the very best as a son or daughter of God and I have the RIGHT, like “normal people” have the right, to love myself and make myself a priority.” Then we’d finally make Satan back off and we’d finally get to live the life intended for us. One where we’re happy independently and can finally breathe without heavy weight breaking our ribs to the point where our chest tightens up so we can’t breathe, or our breath shortens because of the anxiety coursing in our blood.

Do you understand?

Meditate on it.

Brainwash yourself back to what has been intended for you from the time God knitted you in your mother’s womb. When you’re life is going down and you’re asking, “Where’s God in my hard time?” remember a teacher is ALWAYS silent during the test. This is the test people like us have to face on a daily basis because we were made for it. We wouldn’t have been made for it if we couldn’t take it and defeat it through God and through our own strong will to triumph over the darkness… Because if we can love as hard as we do, surely we can invest into ourselves…

I love you all!

My next blog is going to be about lifting so don’t worry about a come-to-Jesus-meeting for my next post, haha.

Check my VLOG (Mattie Beth on YouTube) and my instagram or twitter @mattiebsanders.

See ya next time!

– The TTU Yogi

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway

I don’t know if this is going to be relatable to anyone, but have you ever noticed how soul-sucking winter is? I have the absolute hardest time finding motivation to workout, or even get out of bed when it is negative two degrees outside. And let’s not forget something that also comes with winter: seasonal depression. I think everyone, to some extent, gets seasonal depression and the season really up to the person but for most people I know of, including myself, winter is a very lonely time full of being trapped in doors to suffocate against your own thoughts. During winter, you’re either going to be inside and sad or outside and miserably cold if you’re anything like me, and no one enjoys being sad or miserable therefore no one enjoys winter, (haha, I promise this is just my opinion for you snow bunnies out there).

Considering my emotions particularly to the horrid season in which Elsa attacks relentlessly, winter prevents my ability to choose joy the most. I become crabby, cranky, a bum, someone who refuses to wake up excited for the day, (unless the forecast predicts a random day of spring), sometimes depressed, and all together very unhappy. It takes a TON of effort on my part to focus on the positive and usually it doesn’t last long. Try as I might, the Devil attacks my happiness and attitude the most in days of cold gusts of wind.

Realizing that my happiness is under attack, I have decided a little late in the winter wonderland game that I need to focus my energy on fighting the negative energy that over takes me and I, in turn, put out by choosing joy for my life.

Reading a book by Sadie Robertson, the first chapter focuses on happiness. She talks about many things but she references Philippians 4:13. Every “good” Christian, and even those who don’t believe, will probably know this verse. But she does it in a different way by also including verse twelve:

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Isn’t it interesting that a person can spend most of their life’s beginning stuck in a Sunday school class, memorizing scripture, but never is given verse twelve of Philippians 4? Up until I read the book my sister got me for Christmas, I never had which is incredibly sad because I believe that verse twelve tells us the Christian attitude we should have BECAUSE of verse thirteen.

We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. But how should we do them?

The writer of verse twelve has an attitude that says…

1. I will not focus on what the world says about happiness.

We do NOT need riches, a certain body type, a certain kind of relationship

2. We will take things how they come.

Whether its the dreadful winter weather that makes us sad, or a summer

day, Christians will be happy and take things as they are dealt to us.

3. We will not worry, or stress over things that simply don’t matter.

As born again Christians, we should know that God will provide. And we

should have faith in Him that He will always take care of His children.

With this verse in mind, or maybe simply just this attitude, I think I should learn to ignore the cold, (or be grateful its finally Spring), and to be happy. Because in the end God matters and my own selfish needs don’t. God knows what I need way better than I ever could and its time I let that be the case.

The cold never bothered me anyway.

Have a great Spring Break!

– The TTU Yogi

Links:

YouTube: Mattie Beth

Twitter: @mattiebsanders

Instagram: @mattiebsanders

Health and Fitness Motivation (List)

I’ve recently taken another plunge into the pond of fitness and have gotten myself back on track with yoga and healthy living and, if you’re a mere mortal like I am, you’ll know the ultimate STRUGGLE of motivation and sticking with dieting and working out. I can’t talk about how hard it is enough when it comes to trying to eat healthy on a college campus/college budget or how difficult it can be to find something that drives you to the gym all the way across campus in the freaking cold west Texas wind, (Elsa really needs to lay off).

Taking all this into consideration, while understanding the goals I have set for myself, I’ve compiled a list of motivating factors on why we need to be healthy and fit in our lives and I also included different things that motivate me. ENJOY, and let me know any other things you can think of that also belong on the list

…

I want to live a life of adventure.

This probably sounds mega cheesy but fact is fact. If I can’t drag my butt out of bed to go do some squats on the squatting rack chances are I can’t begin to attempt to see the world like I want to, or that I’ll be around long enough to see everything I want to go see. Healthy lifestyle = long life = many adventures and memories to come.

YOUR body is GOD’S temple

I remember ages ago having some CD with a song on it that had lyrics reading, “And if we are the body, why aren’t His arms reaching? Why aren’t His hands healing? Why aren’t His words teaching?” Now I know that some of us may not be “religious” or believe in the risen savior of the world but I also know that there is a scripture found in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 that says: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Now I know most people just simply cherry-pick this verse as a weapon against tattoos, (~~I’m particularly for tattoos but that’s a whole different subject to face~~), but I’m going to ask you look at this scripture separate from what you believe you already know about it. Very simply this verse says we are where the Holy Spirit comes within and resides, (just as the Holy Spirit will come to meet people worshipping in groups). And God wants us to honor the fact that we are where the spirit lives in, so therefore we should take care of ourselves by being healthy.

Happier living

Have you ever met an insecure athlete? NO. Actually, it’s quite opposite. And honestly the reason is is because a person who takes care of themselves loves themselves, ~~(maybe too much sometimes)~~. If we begin to focus on loving ourselves we should naturally want to either embrace ourselves as what we are or improve who we are as a person both physically and mentally. If you do not like your outward appearance do something about so that you fall in love with and respect yourself again as God intends us to do. For a person who struggles with low self-esteem, and anxiety this is huge. Taking care of yourself = happier living.

Better appreciation

I believe, especially through the practice of yoga, that being healthy and aiming for a fit life style provides us with the ability to gain a better understanding of the complex, beautiful, amazing, unique, perfectly imperfect creation which is the human body. Building muscle in the gym? Learn how the body is connected and how to flex certain body parts and use certain muscle groups for certain things. Practicing yoga? See how breathing, stretching, and the position of your body affects your daily health simply through the pre-existing connections within you. Wanting to run long distances? Test yourself on just how amazing your body’s endurance level is. All of these things and workouts prove one beautiful thing: We are not just an awesome science production but rather a complex creation. And through yoga, or any kind of fitness, as a Christian this can bring you stronger in your faith and push you to a new level.

And finally, you are doing this for YOU.

This is NOT for a social status. This is NOT for the benefits of friends or a significant other liking you more. This is NOT for making your parents or siblings proud. This is NOT about anyone but YOU–the person who is working their butt off to see the results. This is about improving yourself because you want to. You are your own beautiful, unique soul living in God’s perfectly crafted body He put together in your mother’s womb just for you! So when life gets tough, or when you want to quit, ~~or when Chickfila only has the large fry in the SUB~~, or when you just feel like crap and don’t want to get up and get squats in for the day just remember that this is for YOU and YOUR HAPPINESS and it is up to you on whether or not you’ll get to feel the good feeling of change or if you will remain the exact same as you have been.

I hope you enjoyed the pep-talk and I’ll see you next time!

xoxoxo

-The TTU Yogi

Twitter/Instagram: @mattiebsanders

PS: Promoting Big Kidd Clothing! (Find them on instagram and Facebook) I absolutely love their cute work out tanks!

Outdoor Yoga and Year Goals…

Well, as it turns out, the terribly cold white stuff that I hate with a passion melted away from the TTU campus recently and beautiful days of perfect weather came rolling through. (So perfect, in fact, I even grabbed a sno-cone with my friend earlier.)

I was ultimately thrilled when the warm temperature didn’t take off running as soon as the sun began to set and I got to have my practice outside my dorm again. Outdoor yoga is sort of a big deal for me and a preference when it comes to choosing a peaceful location to lay your mat. Yogis around the world are very in touch with nature and the earth around them, unlike some who do not practice asanas and meditation. Not to say you have to do yoga in order to understand the beauty of creation at all, but I believe to some extent that those who practice yoga daily can easily pick up a better appreciation for natural life.

There is life all around us constantly that can be completely forgotten, like the grass beneath our feet or the flocks of birds that take to the skies just before sun set. Yoga, through the focus of your mind, energy, and breath, allows you to focus on these things rather than whatever trials or daily stress you’re thinking. This, somewhat, is the power of yoga to relieve stress and make you feel better about yourself. It shows you that you are apart of a bigger, more beautiful world than just the small life you lead “with all it’s sham and drudgery.” And I think it’s a quite magical factor to be able to attain such an understanding through the asanas on a daily basis.

I also want to let you in on a little secret: yoga isn’t just something you do at the gym or as a work out. Yoga, in fact, is a lifestyle. From the way you breathe constantly through your nose, to the way you think and live, yoga is something anyone can do at any moment. And it’s a GOOD lifestyle, as well. Leading a life that focuses on positivity, self-acceptance, and being in touch with the world around you is very rewarding. If you begin a practice of yoga with the right mind set you should be guaranteed a happier life. Yoga isn’t for everyone, but for those who can benefit from it I strongly suggest you try it out.

That’s all I have to write this week, but on a side note I’d like to include a few goals now that I’m back on the grind for myself, (considering I let myself down by getting out of practice)…

Master handstands WITHOUT a wall.
Get flexibility back and better than ever.
Abs and booty.

I hope y’all have a great week and I know this blog was kind of weird but it was just my thoughts after my practice, haha. Let me know if you have any specific goals for yourself if you’re a fellow yogi this year or how you enjoy God’s creation yourself in the comments!

Until next time,

The TTU Yogi

twitter: @mattiebsanders

instagram: @mattiebsanders

youtube: HappyMattie*

* I’m going to just use my youtube for random videos, challenges, and fun stuff or, on occasion, to accompany a blog. I will let you all know when I decide to post something there! xoxo

Dust Collector or Two Edged Sword?

It’s official! We are back to school and going strong! As my thousands of classmates and I dive head first into huge assignments, long walks across campus, and, of course, buying all of our text books we may or may not use more than once before our final, I have decided I am completely and utterly IN LOVE with this semester already! Maybe it might be too soon to say so, but my major change and classes this semester are much more suited to my likes and talents which makes this particular Texas Tech student a lot more enthusiastic about 2015!

Speaking of classes, this year I am enrolled into an english class, (Lord, we praise you in the times of beautiful literature!). The class is “Introduction to Fiction” and, to my surprise, only is roughly thirty people, (~~unless I’m a bad counter or people are already skipping lecture~~). I am such an english nerd that I have no problem with the fact I will be writing essays and reading a book per week, or that I had to buy six Penguin books for the class.

My favorite european book-nerd, “booksandquills” off of YouTube, always used to talk about how she enjoyed reading Penguin books because they are all classic pieces of literature, (for example I get to read Dracula, Frankenstein, and others this year and I am WAY too pumped!!). I would get so jealous of her book collection and today, when I got my books, the Barnes and Noble cashier–the real campus mvp–said, “Rent or buy?” I don’t believe I’ve ever been more excited to BUY “course material” books in my whole entire life. The guy judged me pretty hard core… It’s alright though, I’m still laughing at him a little bit for liking math, (just kidding, ~~kinda~~).

A few hours later I found myself laid out on my dorm bed, taking a break from the excruciating pain of reading over syllabi, and creeping like a NSA employee on Nick Watt’s blog. I got to thinking about how incredibly silly my excitement was over a few fiction books and found myself looking over at the dark colored bible on my desk with my name in golden letters all tiny in the corner. It all led to one thought: Why don’t I get that excited about my bible?

I remember going to Super Summer at Hardin Simmons, (shout out to my rainbow friends), one summer and learning all about how important the COMMAND to read your bible is. I’m not exactly 100% sure on which year this was, so hear me out, but I’m fairly certain that either Nick Watts himself or one of the other deans from my upper class men years said to us:

“There is no way you can grow in Christ without reading your bible.”

Sure! That makes sense. The bible is a lamp to our feet (Psalm 119) when we’re walking through the darkened journey called life. It’s even said in Timothy to be “…breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness…” It is our two edged sword (Hebrews 4) and our road map from God. So why do we find it so easy to set up on a desk as a dust collector?

Have you ever noticed how common place bibles are, especially in America, in the world today? Perhaps not to every single country, but to the many who were fortunate to be reached first the bible, which is the most reprinted book in the world today, is EXTREMELY accessible to everyone. You can find it in a hotel room. You can find it in a library. You can find it in Walmart. Any town you go to in America there is almost a 100% guarantee that at least one civilian in that town has a copy of God’s word.

And this, my friends, is something that Satan LOVES to use to his advantage.

Don’t get me wrong here. Having the bible everywhere is great if we have intentions of using it. But isn’t it funny how the more common-place something is the less shiny it looks? I remember growing up back in the day before toddlers were given iPads and the ultimate “cool kid” phone being a Razor flip phone. It was only until everyone ~~and their dog~~ had a Razor flip phone that people realized how ordinary the phone actually was. Once something is accessible to anyone, no one wants it because that means there’s nothing about it that can make you elite and better than anyone else. Isn’t human pride funny?

So, I guess tonight I just felt some personal conviction in myself that I’m tired of the beautiful graduation gift my home church gave me serving as a tool of Satan to ward off christians from burying their faces in the pages of God’s word instead of being the sword we use to kill Satan off once and for all. I’m tired of lazily looking at my desk trying to figure out something I can do and landing my eyes on my dvd collection instead of my bible that lays on top of all my books. I’m tired of letting the lamp to my feet be decoration. And I guess I just felt led to share my conviction on here, as well.

My prayer this week, as it progresses, and for the rest of the semester is that my bible and your bible, if you’re reading this, stops being common-place. And if you have been reading your bible and devoting yourself to Christ like we should? Then I just want to say good job and keep going because we still have a while to go yet. For anyone who doesn’t mind doing so, I want to ask that you pray for me that I’ll start seeing the pure heavenly shine of the book of life again instead of a dull “oh, everyone has that” object of this world. That is NOT what God wants and, as a christian, I don’t want that for myself anymore either.

Have an amazing, amazing week! And until we meet again, I hope your days are filled with many a blessings and smiles.

-The TTU Yogi

Packing ADHD

It’s that time of year again! Students are crying, teachers are crying more and parents are rejoicing at a bit more freedom here and there as school kicks back into gear. In the midst of all the drudgery comes college later than high school, (but not quite late enough).

And of course all of this information comes down to one horrid fact to take into consideration: school time means dorm time and that means packing must be achieved for one to transition back into the tiny box place away from your medium sized bed, cat, and large closet. (What great first world problems we must face!)

Now, I don’t know about you but I tend to deal with what my family is known to suffer from which is very very serious… Packing ADHD. There has been rare times my sister and I have managed to pack in less than three days—then all at once right before we headed out the door—where we weren’t drifting off from the primary event of getting ready to leave our home for a length of time. It’s funny how distractions can be made from nothing when it comes to packing and surely Sarah and I aren’t alone in this matter.

All this under consideration and move in day right around the corner, (literally… I have one day to pack up my wardrobe), I have crafted together a list of things that happen to me when I’m packing in hopes SOMEONE will understand! Here you go:

#1. The hour before I actually start focusing on my task.

As I suffer from Packing ADHD I often find the most difficult step is to get started. You open up your suitcase and then suddenly realize an hour later nothing has been placed inside. What in the world could of happened?

Oh… Maybe it was the fact I’ve been retweeting or sharing funny pictures for the past 45 minutes…

#2. The pile of unfolded possibilities.

After the first hour, or three, of no progress towards actually filling the suitcase you suddenly become motivated and start going through drawers and hangers until you realize with a startling discovery that a pile of clothes ten foot tall, much more than actually needed, is starring you in the face. Well darn, looks like that’s not going to fit maybe I should take a nap and think about my decisions before going any further…

#3. The sorting process.

After thirty minutes of napping your mom calls and asks how things are going. You tell her good and shuffle back into your room only to recall the large pile of unnecessary clothes. Looks like it’s time to go a little further. You manage to sort under wear, socks, shirts, and pants into a pile before it dawns on you that you need some music. Quick to stop the actual progress on your mother’s assignment, you go to your phone that is now drained of battery and charging and begin a twenty minute journey on finding a good song to listen to, all the while pausing for a karaoke moment to some chill song from your child hood.

#4. The dance moves no one knows about.

Soon after, your piles have long been waiting for further inspection but you are too busy getting down to the sick beats you found hiding in your iTunes. From white girl twerking to filming a music video in your head you strut about your room and work the mirror for a solid hour. So caught up in being Beyoncé your mom completely throws you off when the door is thrown open and she finds you with your feet up on the wall attempting to keep balance while wiggling your hips. “How’s it coming?” she asks as you dismount the poor wall. “Oh good,” you reply and turn back quickly to your piles.

#5. Calendar time.

Your mom leaves you in your pit of embarrassment, you switch off the music and get to work. This time round you’re smarter. If you’re going to be on a trip then it’s time to actually count the days and nights. For a college kid, you’re more worried about what seasons you’ll be experiencing away from home. That in mind, you start folding away and piling everything up in newly organized groups in hopes to finish up… You haven’t even considered the size of your suitcase.

#6. Self reward time.

An hour or two later, (depending on the trip you’re preparing for) you have your clothes ready to go and you force your pet out from where they were lounging inside the suitcase. Glancing inside the vacancy you’ll eventually have to fit every little thing into you decide your work is done—for an hour—and realize how horribly hungry you are. Ditching the unpacked suitcase you head to the kitchen for a snack but an hour later realize on your way back to your room you were distracted by the tv. You now make the crucial decision on whether or not you can procrastinate finishing or not. Chances are, you definitely can.

#7. Procrastination station.

Around some night hour the day before you leave, because of course you put if off until then, you move back to your room and sigh. It’s time to finish the job. But you forgot one crucial thing: social media. Who needs sleep anyways, you think and flop down onto the floor or bed to further put off finishing.

#8. Sudden motivation.

Around the early AM hours a sudden rush of motivation hits you as you bid goodnight to the friends you were texting or the sleepy boyfriend whose ditched you for his dreams. Rushing with way too much inspiration you pile half your wardrobe into the suitcase until you realize it’s not all going to fit. Too tired to make things work out this late at night, you give up and leave the half finished job in its ugly pile on the ground to get some rest. Beauty sleep, after all, is a must.

#9. The morning pack.

Waking up to a busy day and half done job you’re put into the “maybe I’m motivated or maybe I just have no choice” place where your morning becomes highly devoted to staying on task. Quickly and efficiently you manage to wiggle clothes around to make them fit and then stuff remainders in a separate bag. Awesome. Look how good your doing. It isn’t until everything is zipped and by the door you remember 50 other different items, and you haven’t even gotten your toiletries together, oops!

#10. The grand finale.

Rushing into your bathroom you gather up the crucially important and leave behind extras or replaceable items, (after all you’d hate to have to pack EVERYTHING again when the time came to visit home). You reopen your suitcase twenty times to fit inside your hair stuff and things that won’t fit in your snazzy makeup bag and then manage to get everything by the door and accounted for. Well done! With a great sigh of relief and a possible rewarding nap in your future you are finally ready to leave! You go Glen-coco.

I just hope nothing was forgotten…

—-
Hope you enjoyed this funny list… Now I seriously need to go pack haha. Next time I post I’m back at TTU!

Until next time!
-The TTU Yogi
Picture credit:
http://i00.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1721302538/Vintage-retro-finishing-suitcase-photography-props-home-font-b-decoration-b-font-fashion-nostalgic-american-font.jpg

A Yogi Review: Bohemian Island Harlem Pants

Namaste! And look at me posting back to back J Maybe we are off to a good start this time round, hmm?

Today’s post is all about my wonderful gift I got from my mom. I am now going to include VLOG videos to compliment my BLOGs in hopes that anyone not interested in a long piece of writing will tune in on my new YouTube: HappyMattie. (VLOG is not yet up but I will edit and update this post when it is!)

Yoga is a crucial part to my life and page I’m going to assume considering it’s in my blog’s title and a huge part of what I post on social media (@begentletoyourself on instagram). Before I go any further I am going to have to be upfront when I explain that this past semester I completely failed in my yogi duties. With intentions on beginning a free class at the rec (which resulted in crowds of people all around to my sad discovery, no matter the hour), and then continuing my progress from last January, I sailed into campus not considering that…

1. Spring semester of senior year is not fall semester of your college freshman year.

I completely blind sided myself because of my lack of realism when I headed to school, with my mat in tow, assuming I’d be free on a daily basis (and not too tired) in order to get a practice in before bed. I also completely failed myself when I was too lazy to make the time to ensure an every day practice very early in the morning before classes (because what college kid rises out of bed 10 minutes before class?).

2. A dorm is not a house.

In a dorm there is little privacy, (unless you’re a lucky dog staying at Talkington hall or some other suite situation), and there is very little open space. Things are especially close together when you sadly realize that the dorm you’re in has an extra set of furniture in it and the housing people aren’t planning on getting it out before half-way through the semester (ahhhh!). So in order to find a space for your practice you either go outside (I did so twice), or you head over to the rec and face the mass number of people to slip into one of the dance studios when no ones in there.

I totally plan to correct myself and start sleeping better(and before 12), as well as rising up earlier with the aid of coffee to start my day off with a devotion and stretching session to myself, but then again whose not to say I’ll be up until 3 am doing homework every night.

Anyways… Now that I’ve confessed by yogi sins and asked for forgiveness, on with the review!

Bohemian Island is a company I’ve fallen in love with on instagram. Modeled by my favorite instayogis, I quickly became entranced by the comfy yoga pants they kept advertising in the cutest prints and colors. (For reals, just visit their site and you fall in love). But the company’s product is NOT the only amazing thing included in purchasing their items.

The purchase itself becomes rewarding when you receive your pants (mine came in a little after Christmas so I opened it straight from the package), and you little notes inside telling you thank you for your purchase, how to care for the product, but most importantly that 10% of what Bohemian Island makes from their purchases goes to helping homeless animals in Phuket. That’s right yogis and yoginis: buying a cute pair of harlem pants featuring bohemian-styled elephants can ALSO help a sweet puppy or kitten as well! Isn’t that amazing?

And to top it all off, when I visited their website I found that Thailand doesn’t suffer from sweatshop dilemmas, but rather the factory your hand-stitched pants come from supports Thailand families working in good conditions and receiving a fair pay for what they do. Awesome!

The pants themselves are fantastic as well. From being super duper comfy to also super duper cute, your purchase will NOT disappoint! The pants sit high on your natural waste and are completed with cuffs at the bottom of the thin material that helps them not slide during your inversions. This part I particularly like as I was afraid, not having noticed this part in the pictures before, that if I did yoga in the pants they would slide forward or down while I did my practice. They most certainly do not as this morning revealed! The pants are also light as a feather, so you aren’t drug down with your body above your hands, and free-moving so you can bend and twist any way you like with no fear of tearing such amazing handy work.

To sum this post all up, I’m a yogi getting back on the grind and I’m in love with what pants I have to get me there! Thank you so much to the kind Bohemian Island staff! Much love, good vibes, and blessings towards you all!

And as for the rest of you, go buy some pants and save some cute fuzzies. They need the money more than you do. 😉

Many blessings!

-The TTU Yogi

The Adventure of the First Semester and a 2015 Welcome

Well, I all together dropped the ball and I suppose I’ll admit it only because if I don’t then my lack of posting on this blog will. (oops!) I’d like to take a moment to resituate the situation of what happened my first semester of college, and give another promise that maybe this semester I’ll be more on top of posting and updating the world here (I guess it’s safe to say we’ll see).

Fall semester 2014 revealed to me a few things upon my arrival, such as the fact that college isn’t the least like what you expect it to be like while all together appearing how you believe it will be. I say this only because, upon arriving on the red and black labeled campus and fitting into a new community called Horn Hall, I met things I completely expected. A frat boy in my sociology class trying to coax me into going to a party I had no interest in attending, a foreign professor, (or two), that I could hardly understand, and the, what seems to be, eternal label of an easy mac-eating, midnight-snacking college kid who met amazing new friends and all that jazz.

However, I also was met with things they never tell you will happen.

For instance, I don’t recall ever being this tired before. Maybe it was the real-world job my small town limited me from having or the loads of collegic work that I couldn’t just wing the morning of (not to say I didn’t do that once or twice for astronomy), but I was straight up tired ALL the time and you would of thought my senior year of high school that was filled with naps would of prepared me for the naps to come but it didn’t at all.

I also wasn’t prepared, as a small town girl whose graduating class was limited to 30–or maybe 29–people, for classes of 200 to be so easy to mix into. Most people had told me to expect it to be overwhelming. Some had even said I’d hate it and prefer a smaller campus later on. But the funny part was, until my economics teacher softly spoke to us in her Russian accent and said, “vWe only hav 60 students today for a clas of 200 so I vill giv you all extra points,” I had absolutely no idea! Here I was assuming it was a small university class of 50 when it was supposed to be 200, which was true for all of my classes, as I came to find out!

Regardless of all the unexpected and unprepared, tests and homework were dished out and I set to do my best in each class determined not to be the classic college kid whose motto is “C’s get degrees!” (Ask anyone, I bet it’s the most posted phrase on yikyak in the country!) Unfortunately, during my time at Texas Tech for the fall of 2014 I quickly realized I might be more of an average student than I had been led up to believe by my ever sweet and supportive parents. I didn’t have any idea why my grades weren’t where they should have been or why I wasn’t getting as interested in some of my classes as I thought I would until the idea dawned on me that maybe it was because business was not my cup of tea.

I spent the rest of the semester trying to figure out my major. I had gone in undeclared leaning towards a business degree, but in all honesty business was just a classic cover-up for a girl who had no idea or know how on what she wanted to spend the rest of her life doing every day. From English professor to psychology I spent weeks considering what should be done and how until at long last political science showed up in the picture!

Now I’m not going to promise my poor parents that I’m officially locked onto the idea of political science with a minor in sociology, but I will say that in all my looking around I never found a major that quite summed me up before. English, history, government, and politics. Doesn’t it just sound exciting?

Therefore, loads of prayers and soul-searching later I revealed to my mom my plan and got my major changed. I am now about to start class Wednesday, January 14, 2015 with an entire different hope for my first college spring semester. I honestly believe, just looking at what the degree plan is, that I am going to find myself much more comfortable in a polsci class than in statistics or calculus or something horrid like that (no offense to any stats lovers out there!).

I can’t wait to start my new classes (and thank God an English class has been charted into my schedule), and start a new year with my new(or old) amazing friends! Hopefully this time around we can look forward to some marvelous posts about what’s going on with me this year (as I failed you last time to my great disappointment).

I hope everyone had an AMAZING Christmas break (or whatever holiday you did or didn’t celebrate) and pray you all have a MARVELOUS new year! J

Till we meet again (but hopefully not too long from now, unlike last time)

-The TTU Yogi

English Withdrawals

Good day to you! Long time, no blog!

I can easily explain my absence with one word: college. I have been so busy with move-in, adjustments to living in Lubbock, actually having a social life, and school that I have sadly been ignoring my blog. Have no fear, however, because I deeply miss and need writing. I doubt I take another break from blogging again.

In fact, the other day as I hurried to Astronomy lab rather behind on time I thought back to how easy life was in high school when one building was all you needed. One thing led to another and I longingly thought of english class. Without quite realizing I was doing so, I whimpered out loud, “I miss research papers on good literature!”

It wasn’t until the kid with the bike started snickering towards me that I noticed I had said it aloud for all the world to hear.

I finished running to class, nerdy lifestyle in mind, and decided with great urgency I needed to blog to get my mind straight and exhale some of the bottled up energy inside me I always tend to save for things like writing.

Therefore, without further ado, the rest of this blog will be a short, “just-so-you-know” blurb on my favorite poem.

Max Erhmann was a child of German immigrants. He studied law and philosophy in his early years. It was later in his life that he became a poet; creating works religiously though only two poems are well known.

When he chose to write my favorite poem, he named it “Desiderata” which means desired things. This was a great title for a great poem because the entirety of the piece is devoted to what a person should desire in life in order to achieve happiness.

As you read through the poem, it becomes clear that this is what Erhmann believed would create a good life. Because of my personal morals and beliefs, I find the poem truly a desiderata, or desired thing, for myself. In fact the poem, for many, demonstrates a life that they hope to achieve and therefore becomes their guide as they live.

When you are reading through, any bolded part of the poem will be one of my favorite parts, (even though I love the whole poem). My own commentary will be featured in blue. I would love to have comments from any english nerds, or just any reader in general, on what you take from the poem!

“Desiderata” by Max Erhmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

This is a fantastic point to open with. I think so often it is hard, especially for me, to remember to be still. The act of pausing to just enjoy the simplicity of the quiet can be so refreshing and yet so easily forgotten when we are hurrying towards work, jobs, or just going about our daily lives.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

The idea of quietly speaking your truth instead of hopping up on a soap box and screaming out your opinions to those around you is very important. Almost as important as listening to others, even if they are wrong, because retaining information from other people is a way of learning and growing as an individual.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations of the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter;

for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself.

This is so important. In fact, it is one of the major points when studying yoga that others will tell you. No one is exactly like another, so therefore what good can come from comparison with others?

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

I love this point. I love the idea that no matter what trickery we deal with on a daily basis, we still must remember that there will always be someone doing good.

Be yourself,

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

I believe that the author here means that you shouldn’t become somebody else in order to win over love from another person. Love isn’t real if you have to change for it. At the same time, you cannot give up on love either because if it is genuine, it will never change or go away. Yet another great thing to keep in mind as you go about life.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

Be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

For the last bit I made no commentary because I want you, as a person, to savor each word and just take in the idea that Ehrmann is setting up for us. These words for me are so uplifting, and enthusiastic. Even when I am upset, or ready to give up on something these words place hope into my heart because “it is still a beautiful world.”

It is still a beautiful, wonderful, amazing, perfectly created world solely made so that God’s chosen beings could be its hosts and could live full lives amongst everything that shouts praise to his name. That no matter what we are going through, or who we have lost, or what will happen in coming years we still will have a right to be here and to enjoy what is around us.

And that, my friends, is why this is my favorite poem. Have an excellent week!

Copyright Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own the poem or featured picture. All rights to the original creators of these works.

About This Blog!

Namaste, my name is Mattie! Welcome to my blog! Let’s go ahead and cover a few things right off the bat! We’ll start off with my domain name. “The TTU Yogi” was chosen as my domain for two major reasons.

First of all, I am a Texas Tech University student going in as a freshman. I have always loved Texas Tech and I have great pride to say that I get to fill this blog up with college adventures and thoughts straight from Raiderland as the years progress! Wreck’em!

Also, many might wonder what the term “yogi” means. According to good ole google, a yogi is a person who is proficient in yoga. This means the person is “competent or skilled in doing or using” yoga. Now, in my mind, having read and researched yoga like the nerd within me likes to do, there is no set bar in which you must pass to be good at yoga. Yoga is about testing and bettering yourself. You do not compete with anyone but you. In fact, comparing what you do to someone else can only create a negative effect on your success, as is true for just about anything you do.

With this all being said, I would like to submit that when you see the word proficient in the definition of what a yogi is, you might want to think of it more as someone who continues to practice yoga and the ways of yoga every day rather than someone who is considered “skilled.”

We are all skilled in our own ways at our own levels. Even though we can always improve ourselves with hard work and positive thinking, we will never be like anyone else because we are all made brilliantly unique.

Now that we know why I named my blog what I named it, you might wonder what the purpose is. To that, I would like to say, I have no idea what my purpose is, (just like I don’t know what my major is yet, ha). Perhaps it is to document on my thoughts and all the moments I experience from this point on. Maybe it is to share all of the memories with all you fine people. Who knows? I’ve got a laptop, an interesting path a head of me full of possibilities, and a world unfolding around me just as it should be for me to write about it!

There is so much more I would love to blab on about but I’m sure sooner than later you’re going to know a ton about me depending on how much of my blog you read! So, therefore, I shall bring this blog to a close!

Have a great week until we meet again!

– The TTU Yogi